You won't believe what happened! I contacted the coordinator for my audition at PSU and told her about my distance problem and trouble finding an accompanist. She said to send her the tape I had of a performance a year ago, and that's that! No scales, no accompanist, no recording, no burning a disc...good lord! I feel so...happy! Hope life didn't hear that. Shhh...it's between you and me. XD I was so overwhelmed and a second close to another mini-breakdown...but I'm okay. Now, not worry free--who, me? No, of course not. I now must hope my tape has good enough audio quality for people to hear me. I'm hoping they're just seeing if I'm singing in key...if they're just going by that, I'm in!

Anyway, the point of this journal is...I really don't know. It's 4:00 AM-ish and I was antsy and wanted to get my thoughts out. So, I'll be hanging around...I owe one of you a recipe. Will find that shortly. Not many deviations pending, either...big surprise! Hahahaha! After I get things w/ school squared away, I might finish something. In the meantime, you will all have to put up w/ me. Have a merry day! (I blame all possible stupidity uttered here on lack of sleep...this defense will hold up in court).

Just letting anyone who cares know that I am going to disappear for awhile after Wednesday or so. There are some really important and serious things going on in my life. No worries; no illnesses or death, thank goodness. But, I need to focus on taking care of school business.

EDIT I have moved my disappearing plans to Sunday, since my school isn't even gonna be open, and everyone else I need to talk to is on vacation! Hahaha.

I don't know if I mentioned it, but I have to apply to the music department separately. I'm a soprano: I've been unofficially categorized by my voice teacher as a dramatic soprano, but possibly a spinto soprano. My main mission is to prepare for and organize a recording session. Oh you guessed it--no accompanist yet. And the wonderful college bureaucracy prevents anyone from answering my simple questions about auditioning until finals week, where I don’t see how I can have time to practice a little w/ an accompanist, record a performance, make a CD, send it by mail, wait for them to decide on accepting me, and still have time to register for Winter term classes before all the classes are filled! What genius thought this up?! As you can tell, I’m a little stressed. And I think it’s best if I stay away from people for awhile, even over the internet. I tend to get a little confused and impatient when I’m this way.

Also, I have to cook Thanksgiving dinner. Great. But there are two less people coming which is fine w/ me. I’m cooking real mashed potatoes, stuffing from a box, deviled eggs, yams, probably broccoli, turkey gravy, brown gravy from a packet, and pumpkin pie. Yes, I make pie, even the crust which is a pain in the butt, but tastes so much better than the ready made crust. And I’m also making some white chocolate chip pecan cookies or regular chocolate chip cookies, depending on how I’m feeling. Am I making someone hungry? Hope so--I felt like being evil tonight. XD Anyway, whoever celebrates the day where we eat a bunch of food till we’re sick for no good reason, have a lovely day! And, also best wishes to the students who are probably finishing up their college/uni term/semesters pretty soon. You‘re so close to the end, guys! You can do it! =]

Guess what? Something really important happened today. Come on, guess! A certain something came in the mail. Can you guess what it was? Okay, I'll give you a hint. It was a letter. A very important letter. Did you figure it out yet? It was from Portland State University. Ha! You got it, right?

It was a very important letter from Portland State University that said, "Congratulations! You are admitted to Portland State University for the Winter 2010 Quarter. We are very pleased to welcome you to the Portland State community."

I must refrain from getting too happy, however, from sheer paranoia. I do not trust life too much at the moment. He has wronged me many times before, and I gotta put on the old poker face until I'm actually in Portland, so he doesn't detect the slightest bit of joy and go all psycho on me again.

This letter isn't a magical golden ticket of glee, as I still have quite a few more things to worry about. Like Roseanna Roseannadanna once said, "It just goes to show ya, it's always something." I still must audition for the music department, and get admitted there: I must find an accompanist, I need to find a decent mic and iron out some audio problems w/ my computer cuz I have to send in a recording on a CD (I can't drive to Portland and audition in person). I have to go through the financial aid nonsense again, and hope that it comes through, or else I'm right back where I started. I need to apply for student housing. I need to check to see if I still have that $2800 scholarship, since I didn't attend classes Fall term as was expected. And there is more, to be shared at a later date.

But being admitted is a first step. And it's a good first step. And maybe that strange feeling of hope I have inside isn't so irrational afterall...but we'll see.

In something unrelated, I need to mention who has been working her butt off at Uni and has just completed an amazing animation, so check her animation out, guys! [link]

Bad news now: there's a friggin' tarantula loose in my bedroom, and I can't find it, and now I have to sleep in the living room in a recliner (my dad has the couch...and he snores...and so does the dog. It's gonna be a looong night.*sighs*)

(If you use Facebook, or even if you don't, get on and go to the bottom left of your page where it says "English". Click on it and change the language to "English (pirate)" and get ready to laugh a lot. XD)

In the spirit of Veteran’s Day, I’m gonna tell you some war stories my old papa told me:

My dad was an E5 sergeant in the army. He was a mechanic and worked on the trucks that carried bombs. He spent 2 years in Germany and had developed, as most soldiers do, a drinking habit. Well, one day, because he was bored and inebriated and stupid, he volunteered for Vietnam. This was after he volunteered for the army in the first place, not drafted may I add, simply because he refused to pay ten dollars a week to stay at his mother’s house. XD He left for the army at the beginning of '66. He was 21.

He was only in Vietnam for little over a year, but he had many stories and many close calls. He explained that in a war zone, ranks really don’t mean much. A few times, snot-nosed kids straight outta officer school, the 2nd Lieutenants, would show up and start bossing everyone around. These guys had no experience--they just went to school to learn how to be bossy cows--so many times my dad would have to tell them to shut the f*** up. It was better to get along w/ everyone and work together, because they were all responsible for each other’s lives. Not only that, you piss off the wrong guy and you get a bullet in your head. One night, my dad was in the hooch drinking w/ the other guys, and another soldier came in and sat down next to my dad. My dad leaned over stinkin’ drunk, grabbed the man’s collar, and went, “Hey, so you’re a Colonel, huh?” XD The guy didn’t care! He hung out and drank w/ them all night. Again, formalities really had no meaning, and besides--commissioned officers did not want to be saluted, for fear of being targeted and killed. Just like Lieutenant Dan stressed in Forrest Gump.XD My dad actually disobeyed another higher ranking officer, because they found themselves out on the field coming back to the base from delivering bombs. Well, one of the trucks broke down, and this guy was telling my dad to fix it, in the dark, in the middle of the night--they were easy targets! My dad refused, telling him to leave the truck until morning.

One night, the ammo dump was bombed. It was a mile away, but it sounded like it was right next door. That night, bullets were flying. A bullet flew right past my dad’s head; he heard it whiz past. My dad knew a little man who “could sing like an angel”. This guy happened to be in a tower right next to the explosion. It knocked him off the tower; they found him alive, but his ears were literally bleeding. L No one heard from him again, he may have never sung again.

Now, war zones make guys crazy. To the point of not caring if they live or die. A few times my dad and some other guys would climb up on top of a roof w/ some beer and popcorn, and sit and watch bombs being dropped in the distance like it was just a fireworks show! Paying no heed to others screaming, “Whataya doing? Get in the bunker!”

One night, my dad was drunk and he hopped on a truck going outside the base to a little village. The drivers didn’t care. They dropped him off in the middle of the night in this village. Very dangerous. If the Vietcong would have found him, he would have been dead. He was rescued, though, by a woman who hid him in her house until morning.

Another time, again cuz he was drunk, he decided to eat some of the Vietnamese food that Baby san and Mama san ate all the time (these were generic names for mothers and children). Anyway, this food was full of bacteria. But, because these people ate it all the time, they had built up an immunity. My dad got deathly ill. He had a fever of 105.6 F, and was packed w/ tons of ice to bring the fever down.

A scary thing was no one could really trust anyone. The Vietcong would often infiltrate the base posing as someone else. The barber was found dead one day, discovered to be a Vietcong. He had shaved countless soldiers w/ a razor. He could have gone Sweeney Todd on them at anytime!

Some funny stories:
When he was in Germany, he drove 5 ton trucks carrying supplies (this was simply for training, learning how to live out on the field--in Vietnam the trucks more often carried bombs). One of the guys, who was a rank lower than him, always begged to drive the truck. I guess when you drive these huge trucks people treat you like a movie star or something and wave at you. Anyway, my dad’s nickname for this guy was Schmuck. So, Schmuck got so upset one day cuz my dad wouldn’t let him drive the famous truck, that he actually started crying. I mean, a grown man was crying like a baby cuz he couldn’t drive a truck! XD My dad finally let him drive it. Poor Schmuck. XD

My dad also had a coffee cup that he did not wash for two years. And one day…someone washed it! He was furious. “It was like an old pipe,” he said.

One more story, this proving that the college educated are not as smart as they themselves claim. My dad told this guy, an intellectual who often bragged about his degrees, to change the oil in the truck. This guy took the oil…and poured it into the radiator! XD He was one highly educated dumbass, eh?

Anyway, I’m just telling these stories cuz it represents someone who served their country. I admit, the Vietnam war was pointless, but nonetheless my dad was among those who risked their lives, and those who unfortunately lost their lives. He even came away from it w/ Agent Orange poisoning--skin cancer--which the government refuses to acknowledge to this day despite clear evidence. Big surprise! Despite what you think of the Vietnam war, or any war at that, there are real people risking their lives everyday. Anyway, hug a vet today, and tell them you love and appreciate them.

Yes, Happy Halloween to you all! I'm sorry I suck so much and don't have a special Halloween deviation like everyone seems to have. In fact, I'm sorry for spamming you w/ nothing but journals lately.

I fell asleep at 7:00pm, and that's why I'm up. I hate when that happens. But anyway, I happened to visit Facebook, and decided to tell everyone to **CK OFF! Now, in a nice way, mind you. The reason is because people keep sending me all these stupid quizzes and gift requests for games, and I felt really used. I mean, most of these people never say hello. There's no friendship reciprocity, and I feel really manipulated. So, instead of just removing the apps without a word, I simply told everyone how I felt.

Another thing about Facebook and Myspace I don't understand. Now, I have a Myspace account, but it was simply because I found a longlost friend on there and sent her an email. I don't use it. But, on Facebook, I am just astounded at the behavior of human beings. I don't understand why people like to post things about themselves. Is it for attention? Sympathy? Make yourself feel important? I don't get it. I read things like, "went to the store today. They were out of the brand I liked, and I had to get a generic brand." or "I took my kid to soccer practice" or "my kids got me sick. Woe is me." I mean, I wanna start posting things like "I'm going to the bathroom", "I'm picking my nose", "I just paid for sex" just to see if I'd get a reaction. I never understood the blog thing, I don't even get Twitter, and I've never tried it! People actually care about what you're doing every three minutes? Wow! This is the only thing resembling a blog I have on ye olde interwebernet. If you check my journal past, you'd see I've only gone "blog crazy" these past two months cuz I have nothing better to do, apparently. But, I can't believe some things people post. They whine about EVERYTHING. "My job sucks, I have to work" you mean, you actually get money?? Oh, how horrible! "It's so tough taking care of a family" oh no! You have people who love you! and then some of them will post pics of their poor kids, and I'm thinking, gee, it's bad enough if you have a mom who breaks out the family album whenever the neighbors come by, but now hundreds of people get to see you in your underwear w/ snot running from your nose! Why you wanna embarrass your kids like that? There was one lady who posted pics of her kid after he got in an accident. Good lord, thank you! Seeing that poor kid's bloody, stitched up face just made my day!

Anyway, I'm real close to deleting all those so-called friends on Facebook, like one of you was smart enough to do. I don't care if people don't like me. I'm not a friend collector, like some people seem to be. I don't care how many friends I have, as long as they're true friends. Quality over quantity. I'm not gonna be used--go find another sucker. Rant rant ramble rant.

You guys are all awesome! I love you all! Be safe today!